I first it when I discovered narcissistic abuse many years ago. I soon learnt it was derived from the 1940s psychological thriller: Gaslight, in which the female protagonist was cruelly manipulated by her husband into believing she was losing her mind. He would deliberately dim the lamp, and have her believe she was imagining it. As the lighting faded, so did her sanity.
Put simply, it is a calculated, insidious, and evil method of mind control which features heavily in narcissistic abuse in numerous guises where the victim is left feeling uncertain about their mentality. Unsuprisingly, it completely shatters their confidence, giving the narcissist full control over them. A strong indication is an unusual level of anxiety and insecurity.
I have noticed it’s considerable overruse recently amongst generic group forums. In the same way the term narcissist has become dilute over the years, criminally grouping immature teenagers, into the same pit as scheming exploitive sociopaths, the word ‘gaslight’ is now commmonly being associated with petty snipes, and scorepointing between rivals. This is frustrating because it is a far cry from the horror associated with having your sense of self delibrately ripped away from your soul, which only someone with first hand experience of this abuse can ever understand.
If you ever find yourself in this situation and you feel like you can never do anything right to make this specific person happy, it will no doubt be horribly confusing for you, especially if you were made to feel like you shared a special bond. Riddled with shame, and second-guessing your worth at every turn, maybe it’s time to seek out the person who has the most control over your mind … the one you are most afraid to call out on their shortcomings. Maybe it’s time to take a good look around, and within.
Many people use meditation to self-actualise and ‘find themselves’ at their core, but if you are suffering from narcissistic abuse it will also give you the much needed space to see the bitter truth, without judgement to yourself.
For free workshops and meditation classes please join our community: https://www.meetup.com/Survive-Narcissistic-Abuse-London/
It’s only really over, when they have left your mind.
Stay strong and do the unthinkable. Leave.